Sincerely Yours.

Two quick tips for electioneering, based on some correspondence this week.

1. Handwritten letters are personal. Yes.

Letters that appear to be handwritten but which are in fact mechanically printed and addressed to 'Dear Resident' are not, and actually cause disappointment. (Handwritten address! It's a letter to me! No It's not, it's electioneery bollocks. Boo.)

The bottom line is, not only have you not written to me, but you have momentarily conned me into believing someone has. I am not left thinking, 'ahh, the personal touch,' but rather, 'ahh, you faked up some sincerity. And I thought it was a real letter. You twat.'

This is no better than sending out cheques with YOU'VE WON A MILLION POUNDS!!! and a watermark of Noel Edmonds' face on them.

2. Said faked up personal-touch sincerity is not set up to succeed in the first place when your poor put-upon stamp-licking electoral-register-thumbing biro-wielding apparatchik spells my name wrong.